My naturopath said I have no blood, no chi.
I'd known something was off. The past year -- let me be honest and acknowledge them years -- had left me short of memory, bereft of love, delinquent in responsibility. That wasn't like me
She took my pulse and said: Feel here. I felt my blood pulse this way, and then that, like a tick-tock clock, I was shocked! She said: That's what happens when your blood pools and stagnates, it can't make up its mind, You aren't making up Your mind.
But. I said.
She said: Check your belief system.
I visited my Rolfer, who worked on my nervous system and diagnosed stuckness, indecision. But, I said. She said making no decision is making a decision. But. Check your belief system.
My Life Coach: Chidingly ditto.
Prescription: pancreatic enzymes, homeopathic cell salt pills, precious and free and easy herbal elixir, parsley tea, red meat 4x a week, darts; and the courage to say No Thank You to two associations and a bully.
Wow! Old self-clutched obstacles released started a passion moving through my brain, my guts -- could it be my blood and chi are returning?
Time to check my pulse.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
May Day!
What a fresh feeling on the first day of the month! I rip off my calendar page for April past and think: May Day! Now I have a new chance to start anew -- all over again.
Bit of a "virgin with each new moon" kinda syndrome.
And why not? If we have to be mature adults tending to our children's demands and our parents woes, who for heavens sakes wouldn't want to live that month-end redemption 12x a year?
And what did I do to the celebrate the re-passing of the moments? tried on a bit of home-grown charizma.
What is it, exactly, that I put away with April's passing?
For starters, any possible, improbable, unnecessary guilt over inheriting and driving Beautiful Daughter's Subaru Legacy 2000 (way used when we bought it two years ago.)
I had already paid my bus-taking dues in Boulder for a year and a half. I do, yes I really do appreciate the flora and fauna more available for experience while waiting at the bus stops; I am, I really am grateful that I know the weather of Boulder up front and in my face.
Driving in spring -- window down -- Eddie Vedder LOUD!
Yet what has lingered with me is that ineffable sense of lostness that the advent of spring can bring -- a melancholy of the blood, a seeking-searching of the heart for -- who can tell?
Is it for that sense of "home" that once was and is not now? Or for the first love, that was perfect then and even though renewed can never be unflawed again?
My body holds those memories of enchantment, my soul enshrines them, and now what?
What can I, must I teach my daughter of Life?
That the joy and tears come again in springtime.
The Season -- March 21-June 21 -- nothing but/everything and the uses of enchantment. For the weather is nothing if not up and down, moods back and forth, plans to bask in sunshine on again, off again.
Desperately seeking magic!
Found -- in a zone of gemstones, beauteous females, swains-in-thrall, presided over by the mistress of enchantment who can transform dorm beds into bowers, blue feelings into feeling welcomed.
Call it enchantment-by-old-soul, or the charizma of an empath, our Boulder Ceres tempts us back to life with Navaratna seeds entwined about our necks, dripping from our lobes.
I want some.
Bit of a "virgin with each new moon" kinda syndrome.
And why not? If we have to be mature adults tending to our children's demands and our parents woes, who for heavens sakes wouldn't want to live that month-end redemption 12x a year?
And what did I do to the celebrate the re-passing of the moments? tried on a bit of home-grown charizma.
What is it, exactly, that I put away with April's passing?
For starters, any possible, improbable, unnecessary guilt over inheriting and driving Beautiful Daughter's Subaru Legacy 2000 (way used when we bought it two years ago.)
I had already paid my bus-taking dues in Boulder for a year and a half. I do, yes I really do appreciate the flora and fauna more available for experience while waiting at the bus stops; I am, I really am grateful that I know the weather of Boulder up front and in my face.
Driving in spring -- window down -- Eddie Vedder LOUD!
Yet what has lingered with me is that ineffable sense of lostness that the advent of spring can bring -- a melancholy of the blood, a seeking-searching of the heart for -- who can tell?
Is it for that sense of "home" that once was and is not now? Or for the first love, that was perfect then and even though renewed can never be unflawed again?
My body holds those memories of enchantment, my soul enshrines them, and now what?
What can I, must I teach my daughter of Life?
That the joy and tears come again in springtime.
The Season -- March 21-June 21 -- nothing but/everything and the uses of enchantment. For the weather is nothing if not up and down, moods back and forth, plans to bask in sunshine on again, off again.
Desperately seeking magic!
Found -- in a zone of gemstones, beauteous females, swains-in-thrall, presided over by the mistress of enchantment who can transform dorm beds into bowers, blue feelings into feeling welcomed.
Call it enchantment-by-old-soul, or the charizma of an empath, our Boulder Ceres tempts us back to life with Navaratna seeds entwined about our necks, dripping from our lobes.
I want some.
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